3 of the Best Moms in Lit

Moms aren't always painted in the best light, but when they are, they are forever.

3 OF THE BEST MOMS IN LITERATURE

It’s Mother's Day today, and I will spend it going to the Art Book Fair here in Seattle, eating yummy food at Skillet Diner, and basking in this foreign golden object in the normally grey skies, I think you people call it “the sun”.

I thought it was a good time to sit down and look at some of the of the best moms in literature.  Mothers in literature can be fraught with flaws that encapsulate some of the most misogynistic parts of our culture.  Mothers who are social climbers, feather-brained, or withholding compete with those who are abusive, simplistic, and dead. 

There are a few classics that frame their mothers in the dewy light of perfection and those whose flaws make them more real to the reader. Motherhood can be a stand-in for cultural identity and can be rife with the burdens of institutionalized violence or ill-fated choices.  There are mothers who die in childbirth, those who relinquish their own agency in hopes of protecting their children.  There are mothers who fall short of protecting their children or who feel lost or incapable of facing the truth of their lives. In fact, there are so many mothers to choose from that this could be come a yearly post, but we will start with 3 of the more famous ones whose dedication to their children is of the obvious sort. 

1. Marmee in Little Women

Marmee was able to take care of her four daughters, aid the Union army, and earn the respect of all those who knew her while her husband was away during the war.  She was a moral compass, a joyful giver, and a tribute to the idea of motherhood itself.  There were very few flaws in this character, only those she mentioned herself in doling out thoughtful advice as each daughter warranted.  As she reminds her girls, "Work is wholesome, and there is plenty for everyone. It keeps us from ennui and mischief, is good for health and spirits, and gives us a sense of power and independence better than money or fashion,” so she reminds Alcott's readers to go forth and transcend your more basic instincts.

2. Ma in Room

The sheer grit and perseverance of Ma in this harrowing tale are the only characteristics you would need to celebrate her.  However, in addition to those, she provided imaginative, safe spaces for her son during a period of incredible stress, violence and fear.  Many times in Donoghue's story, was I thinking how allegorical it was.  For isn't every mother the vision of God, the force of love, the sun and moon, to a child; large enough to block out the gravity of a situation, one whose face reminds us that we are alive.  And when she says, ""I know you need me to be your ma but I'm having to remember how to be me as well at the same time," all mothers who have come out of the haze of motherhood can connect with her humility and realness.

3. Suyuan Woo in The Joy Luck Club

While we may see Suyuan through her daughter's eyes and criticize her for her desire for perfection and achievement, when we finally become privy to her own personal history, it becomes clear that this mother made every choice for all of her daughters' betterment.  There is a moment when all children realize that their mothers lived lives before them that included the same feelings of heartbreak, despair, melancholy, and disappointment that they themselves feel.  Tan's mothers (not just Suyuan) celebrate that moment of context and clarity.  When Suyuan's daughter remembers, "They must wonder how someone like me can take my mother’s place. A friend once told me that my mother and I were alike, that we had the same wispy hand gestures, the same girlish laugh and sideways look. When I shyly told my mother this, she seemed insulted and said, "You don’t even know little percent of me! How can you be me?" And she’s right. How can I be my mother at Joy Luck?"  it reminds us all that we are only a part of our mother's life, we are not the whole thing.

May all mothers feel the weight of their own fullness today. May those without mothers know love in all of its forms.

x A